Chapter Four – You´ll Never Understand Him

He casually slides into the both opposite you. Looks at you. You look away. Why did he have to start this game?

After a while a sweet blonde young lady comes over to you. She looks at Rumlow, almost doesn’t notice you. Of course. He has that effect on people. You remember. Fuck, how you remember.

– Can I take your order?

Rumlow looks at you again. Clears his throat.

– What du you want, sweetheart?

You look up at him, but you don’t answer. Then you look away again. Rumlow turns to the waiter.

– Two burgers, with a side of fries!

The waiter writes your order down.

– Great! Good choice! Anything to drink?

– Two cokes on the rocks….

He looks at you again.

– …… With a twist!

You must look like a question mark. You don’t dare to look directly at him, so instead you follow the waiter with your eyes.

– What, that’s what you drink, isn’t it?

– What?

– Coke on the rocks, with a twist. Did I get it wrong?

No, he didn’t get it wrong. Infact he got it so right it scares you. How could he possibly remember such a small detail? Of course he didn’t. Jack must have told him. But why?

– No, you’re all good!

– Good!

You don’t say anything else. What can you say? Did he ask Jack about you, or did Jack share? It’s been 15 years. There is no way he remembers. No way! You remember though. Everything, you remember everything.

You were 18. Not even old enough to drink, not that that ever stopped you from doing so. And when Jack came back home, he brought you along. He was nice that way. Managed to get you into places, and got you drinks. That particular night, he gave you a few too many. And then….. Brock was there. 24 years old, and muscular. Just like you liked them. Like them.

Jack had already gone to bed, when you sat down in the couch next to him. Sipping that last drink. You remember how his eyes burned into your skin. How his fingers brushed over yours. Careful not to force himself on you, treading the water. Slowly. Moving closer, until he could place his arm around you. How you felt the electricity, the thrill. He was older, more experienced, and fricking good looking.

You remember how you turned your head towards him, and how his lips met yours. How he pulled you up into his lap, and how your clothes just disappeared. It was magical.

How he explored every bit of your body with his hands and his tongue. The first time someone went down on you. Just thinking about it makes you shiver. How amazing it was. How good he was. Considerate. Careful. Constantly asking if you were OK.

He was so careful entering you. Not like you expected at all. You kinda thought he was a rough guy. Not a care in the world. You can still feel his breath on you, if you concentrate enough.

But the next morning, he acted like he almost didn’t know you. And you didn’t try to talk to him. Why would you? He was 6 years older than you, and could probably sleep with whoever he wanted. You were just a fling, a pastime. And now you haven’t talked in 15 years, and he behaves like this. You’ll never understand him.

– Hey, YN! Your food is going to get cold!

His voice drags you back to reality. You look up at him. He looks older. But still good looking. Do you want him? No, YN. You’re done with him! He slept with you, and then didn’t care. You’re done with him. Done, YN. Done!

You don’t look at him, you don’t dare to. What if you blush? There is no way in hell you’re going to tell him that you remember every little detail about that night. No fucking way!

– You haven’t said anything in like 20 minutes! Something wrong?

He talks while chewing his food. Like he want’s to know right away, can’t even wait.

– Chew up, before you talk… Please..

You don’t look up now either. God. You’re about to go on a three day, if not more, roadtrip with this guy, and you can’t even look at him. You should have said no, YN! You really should have said no. What the hell were you thinking, when you agreed to this? That he would somehow magically remember, wrap his arms around you and declare his undying love for you. Jeez, how pathetic!

– YN! Are you OK?

Forget it, YN! Forget him, forget that night. Just forget it. He is 6 years older than you, and your brother’s best friend LET. IT. GO! Finally you manage to look up at him.

– What.. I’m super! You?

– Good! I…. I’m good.

– Great..

It sounds forced probably because it is. You’re totally NOT ok! Not by a longshot. You’ve GOT to learn how to deal with him, YN! You’re just gonna have to.

Rumlow gets up. You look down at your burger. You haven’t even touched it.

– Take it to go, YN! I want to get to where we’ll be sleeping tonight. Time to hit the road again.

You don’t say anything, you just follow him out to the car. This time you get into the passenger seat. Rumlow starts the car, and then sends you a smile.

– Scared I’ll clamp down the breaks again huh?

You glace at him, before you reach into the backseat, grabbing you air-pods and your book.

– My shoulder still hurts, you know.

Rumlow puts the car in gear, and you hit the road again.

– I did warn you!

– Shut up, Brock!

You turn the music on again and continue to read your book. You can feel him glancing over at you from time to time. But you focus on the book. You don’t want to meet his eyes. You don’t even want to think about him. You curse at 18 year old you. You should never have done it. Never! Fuck!

You’re so wrapped in your book, that you don’t realise that it’s dark, when Rumlow parks the car.

– I’ll check in. You just read your porn!

You look up at him. Close the book.

– IT’S EROTICA!

– Whatever…

He leaves the car. You look around. A sign that says Motel, and vacancy. Great, he brought you to a sleazy motel, in the middle of nowhere like a fucking scary movie. Or a cheap porn. God!

You exit the car, and get your stuff together. He returns with a concerned expression on his face.

– Time for bed, beautiful!

– Give it a rest, Brock. And give me my Key!

He looks down.

– Yeah.. Err.. That’s the thing.. They only have one room.

– Come on, Brock. Enough with the jokes. Key! I’m tired!

– I’m not joking, YN!

This is beyond perfect. JESUS!

– Fine.. I’ll sleep in the car!

You grab the door. Rumlow grabs your arm.

– YN! Don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure we can make it work. We’ll just… Push the beds apart.

– Arrg… Perfect.

He locks the car. And then you find the room. You’re angry. And frustrated. You were NOT going to think about that, and now you’ll be fucking sleeping in the same bed.

You sit down on the couch, while Rumlow takes a hold of the bedframe.

– See, YN. We’ll just do like this..

He tries to drag the beds apart. Nothing is happening. He gives it one more try.

– No, we don’t…

He lifts up the mattress.

– Fucking screwed together.

You put your face in your hands. And scream your frustration into them. Then you look back up at Rumlow.

– I’ll sleep on the couch. Throw me a blanket.. And a pillow..

Rumlow laughs.

– There is no way I’m getting to New York and tell your brother that I brought you to a sleazy Motel, and had you sleeping on the couch. Forget it, YN!

You laugh back at him.

– But telling him you slept in the same bed as me in a sleazy motel is like totally fine?

Rumlow sits down on the bed.

– I’m not sleeping next to you. I’ll be sleeping all the way over on this side, and you’ll be sleeping all the way over on that side. I won’t even look at you.

– God, damn it!!

You throw your bag at the bedpost, before falling stomach down on the bed, hiding your face in the pillows.