Chapter Fifty – How Can You Be So Calm About This? I Stabbed You!

You look from the angel and back to Rumlow. Then you swallow. You don’t know what to say. So you put your hand on his thigh. Carefully holding the angel with the other one.

– Do you want to talk about it?

He slowly turns his head towards you. His eyes already wet with tears. He is actually crying. This must be something really serious. He looks at the bandaid on your arm.

– I made it for my mom….

His voice breaking when he says the word «mom». Then he bends down, puts his face in his hands, and the dam breaks. He cries so hard, he’s shaking. You place the angel on the table, and put your arms around him. Resting your head on his upper arm.

– I’m sorry, Brock. If this is too hard. You don’t have to.

He sits back up, dry off his tears. Looks at you.

– You deserve to know, YN! I need for you to know.

You nod, slowly.

– She’s dead!

Again, you don’t know what to say. So you take his hand in yours. He squeezes it.

– Thank you, YN!

– For what?

– For sticking with me!

– I’ll never leave you, Brock!

Then he tells you. About how he made the angel at school. Used the colors his mom liked the most. Carved her name at the bottom of the angel. Eager to get home, to give it to her. Like every eight year old would be. And about how he found his mom, lying on the kitchen floor, when he got home. And how difficult his life became after that. How he was moved from foster home to foster home, never finding his true place in life. How he acted out. Got into fights, and never excelled at school. And how he eventually in-listed in the military.

When he’s done talking. He just looks at you.

– Where is your father?

He squeezes your hand again.

– Dead!

He says it without any emotion. Not like when he talked about his mom. It’s like his father never existed to him. You swallow..

– Did…

– He killed her!

This is insane! How can anyone survive a loss like that? Losing both parents at such a young age… You felt bad too, when your parents made the choice about you. But at least they’re both still alive.

– So I killed him!

His voice so hard it almost scares you. He killed his own father?

– He didn’t just kill her, YN. He killed a part of me that day. And I promised myself that I would never feel anything ever again. And I managed that…. Until you showed up!

You? What does he mean?

– I… I never ment for…

He carefully lifts your face up to his.

– I didn’t mean it like that! I fell in love with you. I love you, YN! And I treated you like shit! And now… now I hurt you!

He touches the bandaid.

– It… It was an accident, Brock. It happens!

– Not with me. I TOLD Pierce that I didn’t want to do this. And I don’t understand why he insisted that I do it. Rollins is just as good as me. To draw a knife on a woman.. That’s something I swore I’d never do!

He starts to bend over again. So you strattle him. Grab his face with both hands, look him in the eye.

– Brock! Listen to me! I love you. And you didn’t draw a knife on me. We were sparring. Training. Accidents do happen you know.

– How can you be so calm about this? I stabbed you!

You place a soft kiss on his lips.

– No you didn’t, Brock. The knife hit my arm. If anything it was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. Look. Let’s take a break. Get some food or something. And then we’ll find a different way to do this. A way that doesn’t get any of us hurt. Sounds good?

He nods.

– I love you, YN!

You smile at him, then you kiss him again.

– I love you too, Brock!

Your lips meet again. The kiss is so good, you don’t realise that he removes your gear belt.

– Come here, princess!

He stands up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. Between kisses and soft bites on your neck, he carries you into the bedroom.

You’ve never had this kind of experience with him before. At least not the sex part. He is so soft and tender. Exploring your whole body with his hands. Slowly removing your clothes, as well as his own. It’s like the most romantic thing you’ve ever experienced.

He’s usually rough, dominant, dirty talker. Not this time. This time he’s different. Takes his time with you. Only concentrating on you. No handcuffs. No orders. No hard or dirty talk. When he finally gets on top of you, you’re aching for him, all of him. His eyes on yours, when he enters you.

– You are so beautiful! I love you!

You touch his chest. Carefully exploring every part, every muscle.

– I love you too, Brock!

Having him inside you, and hearing him talking to you in this soothing, romantic way, is if possible even better than the rough dominant way. Feeling him massaging your walls every time he moves himself back and forth inside of you. His breathing and his moans in your ear, and against your skin. His lips tasting your skin, and yours tasting his.

– I… I can’t hold it anymore, YN!

You don’t answer. Instead you kiss his neck the way you know drives him insane. His moans, when he’s coming, is one of the sexiest sounds you’ve ever heard. He stays on top of you for a while. Looking at you. Before he lies down beside you. Pulling you close to him.

– I’m sorry, YN!

– For what?

– I didn’t.. You didn’t finish!

You smile at him.

– Brock.. It was amazing!

– Yes, it was.. But you still didn’t finish!

– It’s no big deal, Brock. It’s not like I expect to finish every time.

He slides his fingers up and down your spine. You lean your head back, and close your eyes. And Rumlow kisses your neck..

– It’s a big deal for me, YN! I want you to feel good!

He continues to kiss your neck.

– Mmmmmm.. You do…

– Then let me make you finish….

His fingers finds your clit. Massaging it. The feeling in indescribable. After everything this is insanely intense. His lips on your neck. And his fingers stroking back and forth over your clit.

– Goooood! Aaahhhaaa!

– Yes, princess! Do you like it?

– Yes! Don’t stop!

Soft bites on your neck.

– I’ll never stop. You’re so beautiful like this, YN!

You can feel that you are close. You almost forget how to breathe. Every muscle in your body is preparing for the tsunami that’s about to come, rushing over you. You move your head so you can see him.

– Look at me, Brock!

He ups the pace on his fingers. Looks at you, smiling. Then the wave hits. You grab his arm, holding it in place.

– You are so incredibly beautiful when you’re coming!

He continues to move his fingers over you. Your whole body spasms. Your moans echoing in the walls. You’re so sensitive his touch almost hurts. But you keep your grip of his arm. Looking into his eyes, looking at you with so much love, so much compassion, so much…

Finally he stops. Lets you breathe out the last few waves. Then he kisses you. A long, slow, soft kiss.

– I want you forever, YN!

– I am yours, Brock! Forever!