Chapter Fourtyfive – He Really Does Like You

– I was actually coming to talk to you. Pierce approved you, and I asked some of the guys if they wanted to go out an celebrate. If you’re up for it.

Pierce approved you? You’re not even done with your training yet. You haven’t even used the knife. And you’re not familiar with combat under water. Or IN water..

– He what?

You can almost see Rollins’ smile through the phone.

– He saw how you did at target practice, and he always keeps one eye on the training area. Guess he thought you were ready. So? Celebrate?

Celebrate? Well, you do need a drink.

– Sure. I’ll celebrate with you. Oh, crap..

You take a deep breath and look towards your bathroom. Getting ready will not be easy, closing in on impossible in this mess.

– Something on your mind? I do believe he’ll be there, if that’s what you’re thinking about. He’s your boss after all.

– No, no, that’s not what I’m asking. It’s just that my shower is smashed…

You sigh. Perfect. Drinks with Rumlow and the guys, and you’re gonna show up looking like a rag doll.

– I’ll come and pick you up, YN. You can use my shower. No problem.

You hang up. Look down on your body. You still have your gear on. Maybe you should pack something else to wear out tonight. This outfit feels like an invite to a fight.

You just finish packing a bag, when Rollins knocks on your door. You throw the bag over your shoulder, and go to open.

The first thing you see, when you open the door is a paper with your picture on it, your information, and at the very bottom, Pierces signature and a red «APPROVED» stamped over it.

– Agent YLN! Ready for your first assignment?

You laugh a bit. Like a celebration is an assignment.

– And what might that be, Agent Rollins?

– Fix things with Agent Rumlow! We have to trust each other out there, we are responsible for each others lifes. Communication is Key!

You close your eyes.

«I thought you said I wasn’t worth it!»

He probably won’t even talk to you now. Maybe you should just quit. You don’t want to bother Rollins with that, so instead you fake a smile.

– Maybe after a few drinks. Right now I want to take that shower.

—————————————

Rollins’ apartment is just two blocks away from Rumlows. Also on the top floor. Aside from the interiour the apartments are identical. Rollins sits down on his couch.

– The bathroom is yours, Agent.

Happy that you can finally take a shower, and put on some clothes that doesn’t scream «fight me now» you walk into the bathroom. In there, you find a new set of gear for you. SHIELD mark on the arm. Just like all the other Agents have. You lift up the gear belt. Is it just you, or is this heavier? You pop your head out of the bathroom door.

– Jack! I can’t wear this tonight!

– Yes, you can. We all do. Remember, this is a part of your body now! Learn to live with it!

Listen to him, YN! He’s the one who trained you. He’s the one that got you approved….

…..And if your gut feeling is correct. Some dumbass drunk guy is going to try and fight you tonight. Let’s just hope he’s really drunk…

————————————————-

The shower helped. And you weren’t wrong when you felt the gear belt being heavier. There is some new additions to it. A retraction rope, and extra ammunition to name a few. Are these guys expecting a fight all the time? Will you also have to expect that now?

It’s already dark, when you walk towards the pub down the street. The same pub you met Br… Rumlow in. You take a deep breath. Just a couple of drinks. If it get’s too weird, you can always go to the hotel you booked.

– Nervous, YN? Come on, you deserve this. First round is on me!

Rollins voice drags you back to reality.

– A little bit.. I mean, what do I say to him. Communication haven’t exactly been blooming lately.

– Say what you feel, YN!

You stop. Do you even know what you feel anymore? Sure, you love him. But is that enough? Will you be able to live with him and this mood swings, his temper? His inability to say what’s really on his mind?

Rollins stops a couple of steps in front of you. Turns around.

– Changed your mind? You don’t want to go?

He comes over to you. Takes a hold of your shoulders.

– Listen, YN! Rumlow is an Alpha male! And we can be difficult from time to time. But from what I know about you, you’re an Alpha female. So you should be able to take it. Make him talk, YN! It’ll get better then.

Make him talk? Talk about what? All he cares about is his job! He called what you talked about pillow talk. All he cares about is following orders, SHIELD and hiding his emotions. Maybe it used to be you… But it’s not anymore…

– Hey, YN! He really does like you. Trust me. I can tell. I’ve known him since we were 18. Two drinks. Then you can leave!

Fine.. You can manage two drinks. Only two. To celebrate, right? Come on, YN. You can do this.

A lot of the other Agents are already there when you arrive. You know some of them. But some of them you haven’t even met yet. Rollins introduces you as the new asset on the team, the conversation centers around your training, and how highly Pierce talks about you. You try to concentrate, and answer their questions. But your mind is filled with Rumlow, and there is a guy at your table that keeps sending you hard looks. You don’t know why. Is he mad because you’re a girl, or does he think that you got a place on the team because of Rumlow? You try to send a hard look back, but he just continues to look at you. This whole situation is making you nervous. What is this guys problem?

– Started without me I see…

Rumlows voice behind you. You don’t turn around. But when he sits down on the empty chair next to you, you look at him. He glances at you. But nothing more.

You keep talking to the others. This is actually pretty nice, all things considered.

– Hey hey, wait up.. I just have to put my make up on first..

The angry guy from across the table, he looks at you when he’s talking. But you can tell that he’s talking ABOUT you, and not TO you. Where did this comment come from? Haven’t you proved your worth? Your skills? Isn’t it enough that Pierce approved you?

Rumlow slams his hand down on the table. You jump.

– WHAT!?!?

Rumlow looks at the guy, and you recognise the look from that day out in the hall, outside his office. When he fired that guy, and everybody found out about your relationship.

– It was a joke, Rumlow!

The other guys voice almost trembling. Is he scared of Rumlow?

– We do NOT crack jokes on fellow Agents expense! Especially the females!

The guy swallows. He doesn’t take his eyes away from Rumlow. It’s almost like he thinks that Rumlow can jump over the table and beat his ass at any second. This was supposed to be a nice quiet evening. Why does things like this continue to happen to you? You stand up.

– I… I’m just gonna go and PUT MY MAKE UP ON!

You emphasis the words, and look at the guy. Hopefully he’ll stop while he’s still ahead. You don’t want to watch this unfold. So you leave for the ladies room.

Again you find yourself standing in there. Leaning against the sink. Looking at yourself in the mirror. The only thing that changed are your outfit, and your fighting skills. If someone assaults you now, you can easily overpower them. Rollins taught you good. You take a deep breath, before walking out the door.

– Hey, YN! Wait up!

You turn around. It’s that guy. Did he follow you?

– What’s up?

You try to sound casual and calm, but you feel like your voice is shaking. You can handle yourself, YN. What are you afraid of?

He comes all the way up in your face. You maintain eye contact, like Rollins taught you.

– Rumlow kicked my Brother off the squad, and then suddenly we’re going Co-ed. And you, YOU’RE fucking your way up the floors aren’t you?

He lifts his arm. Is he going to hit you? Your mind instantly goes back to David. How he hit you, again and again. How you day after day, week after week, moth after month, year after year went to work with the same black eye, and the same excuse.

And then, you remember the night you met Rumlow. Davids hand around your throat. How you though you were going to die. How Rumlow yanked him away from you.

You look at the guys arm again, ready to hit you.

– Let’s see how good you really are. Little Bitch!

You can’t move. You completely freeze up. It’s like your brain isn’t functioning. Come on, YN! You can easily put this guy down.

Someone grabs his arm. You’re so inside your own head, that you don’t even know if it’s you or not. One quick movement forward, then back again. The guy goes down like a twig.

– What the fuck, Rumlow! You broke my arm!

You look up. Rumlow looks down at the guy on the floor.

– Serves you right! Don’t bother showing up at work on Monday! Now, get the fuck out of my face!

The guy get to his feet, and run away. You look at Rumlow, looking at you. He looks at you like your boss. Like you did something wrong, or like the teacher did, if you failed a test, or didn’t do your homework. You swallow. Is he going to kick you out now?

– You froze!

He’s not mad. Just determined. Like he want’s to teach you something.

– I….

You don’t get to say anything else, before your lips collide in a kiss so intense you almost lose your ability to breathe….