Chapter Twentyeight – Have You Ever Used A Gun Before?

Rumlow places a soft kiss on your forehead. Then he puts his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes. Takes a breath. It’s like he doesn’t know what to say. Is he afraid he’ll scare you? It’s probably dangerous. What if something happens to him?

– Not more so, than any other mission I’ve been on.

You look at him. What does that mean? Is he trying to let you down easy?

– What kind of mission is it?

He kisses your lips. Gentle and soft. Is he scared he won’t return to you, or that he’ll end up in a hospital, or worse, a coffin?

– Some employees are selling classified information. I have to clean it up. Find them, and stop them.

– Who is it?

– I’m not allowed to tell you, YN. This mission is on a need to know basis. And..

– I don’t need to know….

You take your eyes away from him, try to make that burning feeling behind them go away. He pulls you close to him, hugs you. You take in his scent. So safe…

– Hey. I know how to handle myself. I’ve been in worse situations than this. I’m more worried about you. That’s why I put a team of agents on you. To protect you.

You look at him. A whole team of agents? Are they going to live with you? Are you going to live in his apartment, with a whole bunch of guys you don’t know? How is that safe?

– Don’t worry, you probably won’t even notice them. They’ll be stationed outside the building all day, and outside the door at night time. It’s just so that I can protect you, even if I’m not there myself.

You sit up. You’re not used to being treated this way. And although Rumlow feels safe, the situation is something that feels unsafe to you. And you don’t know how to respond.

– YN? I don’t want to leave. I tried to get out of it. But there’s no one else. I’ll try to get back as soon as possible.

He puts hin hand on your back. Sits up as well, and gives you a hug. You look at him again. Force a smile.

– Where are you going? Where is this mission?

You reach for your bra on the floor. Try not to look at him. Force your tears back. His hand still rests on your back. Like he doesn’t want to let go of you.

– I can’t tell you, YN! I want to but..

– I don’t need to know…

You put your bra back on. And then the rest of your clothes. He does the same. You don’t say anything. When you’re both fully dressed again, you walk towards the door. Rumlow steps in front of you. Stops you. You look up at him.

– Brock, I should really get back to work.

He gently grabs your face, just like he did out in the hall before. Only this time he’s not wearing his gloves.

– Lets go home, YN. Spend some time together before I leave.

– I have to work, Brock. It’s bad enough everybody knows about us. If I don’t show up at work, it’ll be even worse.

He kisses you. Soft, caring, deep, intense. You feel it in your entire body. When he breaks the kiss, you gasp for air. Like you were drowning in his kiss. He looks at you again. His eyes almost pleading you.

– Please, YN! For me…

This is a whole new side to him. You never knew he could be this soft. But you like it. You really, really like it. You lean into him, and kiss him.

– OK, Brock! Let’s go home!

———————————————-

When you enter the apartment, back home. Rumlow starts to pack a bag right away. You follow him with your eyes, looking at him, putting different stuff into his bag. Guns, more knifes, some papers.

– Do you always pack that many guns, when you go out on missions?

Your voice is shaking. Although you find him extremely sexy with those guns, you’ve never actually thought of or seen him actually use one. And the thought of him being in a real gunfight, scares the hell out of you.

Rumlow stops what he’s doing and turns towards you. It’s like he wants to give you his whole attention when he’s talking to you. Or is he going to tell you something important, and he needs your full attention?

– Usually I pack one more. YN! I have to show you something. Come here!

You follow him into the bedroom, over to the nightstand, and there he stops. You stop a couple of steps behind him. He looks at you. This is serious stuff. Is he going to tell you to contact someone or do something if he doesn’t return?

– Have you ever used a gun before, YN?

You swallow. Have you ever used a gun? Why would you ever do that? You haven’t even held one.

– Ehhe. No, not really.

Rumlow opens the drawer on the nightstand, and takes out a gun. Similar to the ones he always have in the holsters on his thighs. He looks at the gun for a second, before he gives it to you. You don’t know what else to do, so you take it. It’s not heavy at all. Your guess is that it weighs maybe 600-700 grams. It feels weird to hold it.

– This is a Glock 17. Easy to use! I’m gonna leave this here with you. You’re free to use it if you need to.

Rumlow walks up behind you. Shows you how to hold the gun properly. Guides your hands around the gun, telling you what all the different stuff is.

– Remember to take the safety off. There. Easy and quick to do. Right here, you release the magazine. And you put it in like this. Fast and easy.

Does he actually think you have to use this thing? And why does he think that? Does he think someone will come after you? What is this mission he’s going on?

– It’s just for extra protection, YN. You probably won’t need it. I just want you to be safe. I want you to be able to protect yourself. Don’t be afraid of it. If you’re afraid to use it, you’ll hesitate. And that is something you never do. Don’t ever hesitate. Shoot first, ask questions later.

He lets go of your hands. Lets you hold the gun yourself. You let your hand fall down by your side. You don’t want to aim this gun at someone. You’re not a killer, not even someone who threatens to kill someone.

– Try to aim the gun, YN. On the wall.

Rumlow is still standing behind you. You take a deep breath, and then you lift the gun up, pointing it at the wall. Your hand’s shaking.

– Hold it with both hands, YN. Steady it. Or else you’ll miss.

You slowly lift your other hand, and Rumlow guides it to where it’s supposed to be.

– See, YN? You can do this. Squeeze the trigger, don’t pull! And don’t ever hesitate! Remember what I said! Shoot first….

You swallow again, put the gun down on the nightstand, and turn towards Rumlow.

– Ask questions later.. But, how can I ask a dead person questions? If they’re dead, they can’t answer.

– Search them! You can always find answers.

– Do you actually think I’m gonna be needing that?

Rumlow leans down, and place a kiss on your lips.

– Hopefully, you don’t. But I’m not gonna be able to live with myself If you do need it, and you don’t have it. So keep it close to you, until I get back.